According to Wikitionary kiss arse = To flatter or perform favours excessively, especially to receive preferential treatment from a boss or other superior.There is a huge difference between being kind and polite and kissing arse. Some people want to get ahead by sucking up to the rich and powerful people in their circle. This is sad to watch and it seldom works. Most people who are truly powerful don't respect kiss arses. They want to be treated the same as everyone else. If someone does respond to kiss arserery they are probably a massive douche and you shouldn't want their approval. Instead of investing all of your energy into sucking up to the "right people" why not put that same energy into being freaking awesome. Send your time and energy kicking arse. Be the best you can be. Strive harder. Run further. Work harder. Be the best you possible. The right people will notice at the right time and you will get ahead if you keep working hard enough. Think of how satisfying it would be to get to where you want on your own merits instead of by sucking up to some smarmy git. This does not mean that you can't get help or favours from friends and influencers along the way, but they should want to help you because of your hard work + tenacity + mad skills + desire to succeed + abilities rather than because you kissed their arse. So, the next time you find yourself pursuing your lips ready for a good arse kissing... question your own skills and choose to work hard on yourself and your projects instead of sucking up for preferential treatment. The win will be so much sweeter.
If you are relying on hope to get you through then you're not likely to be a success. Hope is not enough. Instead of hoping, why not look at yourself and figure out where you're lacking. What is it that you need to learn or do to get ahead. What feelings of inferiority or worthlessness do you need to confront so that you can actually get on and get shit done? Stop hiding in hope and face your fears. Face your hurdles. Face your own limitations. Hope can lead to misery as you're sitting back waiting for life to happen to you rather than going out and making your own dreams come true. Hopelessness or a lack of hope means you have faced your own reality and are no longer lying to yourself... you know exactly who you are and what you want to be. Only then can you be free to create, soar and succeed. Hopelessness is the ultimate freedom and we all need more of it. If you want to read more of Pema Chodron's ideas you can read When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Difficult Times.
Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty... We feel that someone else knows what’s going on, but that there’s something missing in us, and therefore something is lacking in our world. - Pema Chodron
A gift is something that is supposedly given willingly as in its voluntary. However, society has evolved and there is a lot of obligatory gift-giving these days and this can lead to tension and resentment. Some people are better at giving gifts than others but we don't only give gifts. We also give our time, attention, friendship and love. In a perfect world, we would all give the same amount and no one would lose but that's not how life works. My cousin recently said something that made a lot of sense... people are either fountains or drains. It is such a perfect description of how people can be givers or takers. I am sure at different times in our life we are fountains and then at other times, we can be drains. At the end of the day, it's the average of give and take that matters. The next time you feel like someone isn't giving you enough, ask yourself... what have you given? do you really deserve more than your getting? are you being a drain and not a fountain? Think about it!gifta thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.