Sometimes you need to talk to someone about the issues swirling around your head and all you really want to do is talk... not listen to a bunch of solutions. Have you ever sat down to talk to a friend or family member about something that is really bugging you and they come back with a simple and flippant solution before you've even got it all off your chest? Yup me too. It's right up there with mansplaining and almost all men will happily give you a practical solution without knowing the full set of circumstances you have to deal with. Perhaps this is one of the reasons we need to speak to our girlfriends to stay sane. There are times for discussion and there are times for release. Granted it is hard to tell them apart. I too am guilty of offering simple solutions to complex problems I don't fully understand, but I'm trying to get better at just listening. I once read of an ancient cultural practice of finding a rock, telling that rock all of your problems and then throwing the rock away. I really like this idea as shows a good understanding of our need as humans to unburden ourselves. Often it's the act of talking about our troubles that gives us the most relief. In saying the words out loud we can often see our own way out. Some people do take advantage of this and complain all the time... I am not referring to those people. They suck and should be avoided at all cost! So the next time someone close to you is pouring their heart out, take a breath and look at the situation. Ask yourself if they need to get something off their chest or really wanting your opinion. I'm sure with practice we can all get better at identifying when our sage advice needed.
We don't learn lessons in one go... sometimes we have to make the same mistake a couple or let's face it MANY MANY times before it really sinks in. We can be a bit slow us humans. I have recently committed to printing a colouring in book of my own illustrations and have had many discussions with my printer of choice. It was "printing day" and he was about to press go when he asked me if I could change the size from 160mm square to 150mm. I nearly said yes as his tone was pleading and he assured me this would make the process quicker and more efficient. Then I remembered my lesson from week 39, that women need to stop wanting to be liked. I was about to agree to something that I didn't want to appease a stranger... I didn't want him to think that I was a bossy bitch. I took stock of the situation... I had already bought hundreds of plastic envelopes for the book that would be cumbersome and costly to return and most importantly the size of the pages is listed on the back of the book so changing the size without changing the text would make me a liar. I stuck to my guns and said 'NO'. It's hard for us chicks to say no sometimes but I did. What was I afraid of? A stranger might be inconvenienced and think I'm not a very nice person? Why should I give a shit about what he thinks about me? I am paying him (handsomely) for his services and I should get what I've paid for. I did notice the shift in my thought process from 'I should comply and be nice' to 'I should get what I paid for and who cares what a stranger thinks of me' and it was awesome. I'm not going to roam the streets being a bitch willy nilly but I think it's good for us ladies to consider our motivation when making decisions... are we just trying to be liked or are we really doing what's right.
Think of what you teach your children, your friends and your family… those lessons apply to you as well. Take your own advice.Get in touch via Twitter, Instagram or by email :) [su_button url="/my-work/what-i-learnt-this-week-2016/" style="flat" background="#fc1581" color="#ffffff" size="5" icon="icon: plus-circle"]All 2016[/su_button] [su_button url="/blog/what-i-learnt-this-week-2016-week-43/" style="flat" background="#01d801" color="#ffffff" size="5" icon="icon: arrow-circle-right"]NEXT[/su_button] [su_button url="/my-work/what-i-learnt-this-week/" style="flat" background="#0097ff" color="#ffffff" size="5" icon="icon: hand-o-left"]ALL 2015[/su_button]
The advice Michelle got from her mum seems rather bleak... but this untrusting attitude seems to have skipped a generation. Michelle bucked against this advice and became a very open and trusting person. Sometimes the advice that is given in love shows us what we don't want to be and that is just fine. It's up to us to decide to follow advice... good or bad :) I recently asked a bunch of people to share with me a piece of advice their mother had given them. Some are wise, others are hilarious but most of all, they are all true. While the words in these illustrations are direct quotes, the characters are inspired by each advice recipient and are not meant to be an exact likeness. I am only using their first name so they can stay anonymous, if they choose. Feel free to share on social media (please link back to my site). It would be awesome if you could send me your mothers best words of wisdom... it might just help someone else out :) What did your mamma say? Get in touch via Twitter, Instagram or by email :)