According to Wikitionary kiss arse = To flatter or perform favours excessively, especially to receive preferential treatment from a boss or other superior.There is a huge difference between being kind and polite and kissing arse. Some people want to get ahead by sucking up to the rich and powerful people in their circle. This is sad to watch and it seldom works. Most people who are truly powerful don't respect kiss arses. They want to be treated the same as everyone else. If someone does respond to kiss arserery they are probably a massive douche and you shouldn't want their approval. Instead of investing all of your energy into sucking up to the "right people" why not put that same energy into being freaking awesome. Send your time and energy kicking arse. Be the best you can be. Strive harder. Run further. Work harder. Be the best you possible. The right people will notice at the right time and you will get ahead if you keep working hard enough. Think of how satisfying it would be to get to where you want on your own merits instead of by sucking up to some smarmy git. This does not mean that you can't get help or favours from friends and influencers along the way, but they should want to help you because of your hard work + tenacity + mad skills + desire to succeed + abilities rather than because you kissed their arse. So, the next time you find yourself pursuing your lips ready for a good arse kissing... question your own skills and choose to work hard on yourself and your projects instead of sucking up for preferential treatment. The win will be so much sweeter.
If you are relying on hope to get you through then you're not likely to be a success. Hope is not enough. Instead of hoping, why not look at yourself and figure out where you're lacking. What is it that you need to learn or do to get ahead. What feelings of inferiority or worthlessness do you need to confront so that you can actually get on and get shit done? Stop hiding in hope and face your fears. Face your hurdles. Face your own limitations. Hope can lead to misery as you're sitting back waiting for life to happen to you rather than going out and making your own dreams come true. Hopelessness or a lack of hope means you have faced your own reality and are no longer lying to yourself... you know exactly who you are and what you want to be. Only then can you be free to create, soar and succeed. Hopelessness is the ultimate freedom and we all need more of it. If you want to read more of Pema Chodron's ideas you can read When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Difficult Times.
Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty... We feel that someone else knows what’s going on, but that there’s something missing in us, and therefore something is lacking in our world. - Pema Chodron
ego noun a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. "he needed a boost to his ego"The ego is a funny thing... it's hard to get your head around as it's intangible, essential and potentially problematic. The ego is the part of our psyche that facilitates belief in yourself. It allows us to take chances, believe in our ability to get shit done and we need it to keep pushing forward in life. Getting a handle on our own ego is a lifelong process and as our circumstances change we need to adjust it accordingly. This process of adjustment and change is mainly subconscious but we can at times be aware of it. Without our ego, we would get nothing done. Trouble comes when we try to control other people's egos instead of our own. We have no rights or control over other people's egos. While we can influence people, who are in our circle, we cannot control their ego. That is up to them. That is their responsibility. But many of us waste waaaaay too much time trying to tame others people's egos. The sooner we can let go of our desire to reign in other people's egos and focus on refining our own, the sooner we can get on with the business of living our own lives.
The trick to benefitting from anger is to use it as a motivating force. It's holding on to anger that is dangerous to your physical and mental health. If you can use it as a motivator to strive further or work harder then you are transforming it from a negative to a positive force. Anger can make you feel strong and powerful. It may even help push you forward to get what you want. It can be the incentive for change that you need to succeed and flourish. It is believed that anger can make us push on towards our goals in the face of problems and barriers. Perhaps there are some milestones we never would have achieved had we not been sufficiently wound up by anger. Maybe a small dose of anger is the secret to success?!? So, the next time you feel anger rising... make sure you don't hold onto it. Use it as a force for good. Use it as a catalyst for change. Turn it into a positive drive forward. By not holding on to it you can improve yourself and push yourself further than you thought possible.anger nouna strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. "the colonel's anger at his daughter's disobedience"