I take the role of aunty very seriously. I have read studies that confirm the importance of an alternative strong female role model in a young girl’s life and I want to pull my weight in positively influencing this little woman in the making.
I heard the way I spoke to her, propping her up, telling her how great she is (which is true) and doing my bit to contribute to her good self-esteem. When I went back to my own projects and tasks and I heard the way I spoke to myself and there was a huge disparity. I was a bully to myself. I was outright mean. Actually I’m kind of embarrassed to think of the way I have spoken to myself for so many years.
A change of script was in order, so I decided to start speaking to myself the same way I spoke to my beautiful niece and something wonderful happened… I forgave myself for not succeeding as much as I’d like, I started drawing without fear or self-ridicule and I had an enormous amount of peace (the bully had been kicked out). Everybody deals with their inner critic in different ways but this one really worked for me. I’d like to say my inner critic is dead and buried but I don’t think it ever can be killed off entirely. However just like diet, as long as you’re really good 90% of the time and keep the junk to 10% it will all work out in the end.
A friend of mine makes these Inner Critic dolls… you might find them useful