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what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 26
#WhatILearntThisWeek
I have fallen victim to the perfectionist trap… many times. We can want so much to be perfect and to never fail that we can become trapped in a world of little to no change.
The truth is that if you never fail it means you’re not doing anything new or difficult. Wildly successful people haven’t succeeded by never making mistakes. On the contrary, they make many mistakes – big and small – but instead of letting their mistakes cripple them, they learn from them, grow and move on to the next mistake on the way to success.
Failure is not always a dead end. It can be a huge opportunity to learn. In fact, it’s often not until you have failed that you can figure out the right course of action to take. Look at Steve Jobs for example… he had some epic fails but they did not paralyse him… they energised him and he went on to be incredibly successful.
We need to become resilient to failure so that we can bounce back, learn and go on to thrive. We need to teach this resilience to children so that they can challenge themselves, grow and innovate.
Do something that scares you, be prepared to fail and then to go on and be awesome. The only people who don’t fail are losers who are happy to stay in the same place for eternity.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 25
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It’s hard to accept this at first but it is true… you have to be a squeaky wheel.
People by nature are lazy and will not go the extra mile to help you. Also, some people are actually bad and will take steps to get in your way or impede your progress.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease is an American proverb used to convey the idea that the most noticeable (or loudest) problems are the ones most likely to get attention. It is alternately expressed as “The squeaky wheel gets the oil”
– Wikipedia
We knew a lady who was very dramatic. She would go to the doctors or the hospital and scream and carry on until they saw her. We thought this was terrible, but she did get seen very very quickly. It wasn’t until I was much much older that I realised the wisdom of her actions. A few years ago, I was in a hospital emergency waiting room waiting to be seen with a raging eye infection… I won’t describe it but it was becoming very serious very fast. I was constantly pushed back in the queue until my awesome mother kicked up a stink. It’s sad that this is what it came to but it was the best and only way to handle the situation.
I know of people who have applied for the NDIS only to be offered little to no help despite being very disabled and in need of help not only to enjoy life but to survive. In each case it has taken stern action by themselves or their advocates to be taken seriously.
We want to think that people are out to help us and that they have our best intentions at heart but it is often not true.
Be kind, be respectful and be patient but if you can’t get the help or service you need then be a squeaky wheel… squeak loud and squeak hard… be very very squeaky. Squeak loudly and be heard.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 24
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Most people who know me, know that I’m a feminist. I was born that way.
Feminism has recently had a bit of a resurgence and I’m glad for the discussion and increase in awareness. However, I am weary of the discussion. Why is it we still have to fight for equal rights. For fucks sake, it’s 2017 already. Haven’t people realised that regardless of gender or race that we are not the same but we certainly are equal. How are we still even talking about this?
The problem isn’t only men… it’s a lot of women. I recently said, “I’m a natural born feminist” and two women (one in her 20’s and the other in her 50’s) said, “but I like men”.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. For fucks sakes… can we please stop equating equal rights with man hating. Why is that me wanting to be granted the same rights, opportunities and safety as a man mean than I hate men? I LOVE MEN. Seriously just shut the fuck up already.
Just the other week I was at the art gallery and a sweet old man started up a conversation. Through his thick old man white bushy beard, he asked me a question about Margaret Preston and I made the statement that it was sad that she was considered a crafter rather than a full-blown artist while she was alive because she was a woman and he said, “for god’s sake, don’t tell me you’re one of those”. He went on to tell me that I was a silly little girl and that he doesn’t understand why women complain so much. Do we really have it so bad?
I actually felt sorry for him. What a sad little man. Does he not have a wife, a sister or daughters?
Anyone who is not treated as an equal regardless of why (gender, race, socioeconomic issues) should feel hard done by. Why should I be content with getting paid less because I have a little bit more DNA that a bloke (XY vs XX)? A woman getting equal pay does not belittle men… unless a man is so small and fragile that he needs more money to feel like a big boy.
It’s hard to believe that this topic is still up for discussion. Enough already. Let’s just respect each other and treat everyone in a manner we would like to be treated. Problem solved 😡
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 23
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I don’t have much trouble starting and maintaining a conversation but I do know this is a challenge for many. Even I get stumped occasionally.
I recently heard about an interesting technique that sounds like an automobile but it makes a lot of sense. FORD is an acronym to help people come up with discussion points when social interaction becomes difficult…
FAMILY: Most people have a family of some kind… you can ask someone if they have any siblings? Where they grew up? Do they have children?
Take a moment to listen, focus on their answers and ask more questions.
OCCUPATION: While I try not to sound materialistic when I ask this, what we do for a living is a huge part of who we are. Ask them what they do for work? If they enjoy what they do? What would they love to do if they had the chance?
This can open up many lines of discussion and you might find some common interests to discuss.
RECREATION: Who doesn’t love a good recreational activity! What are their hobbies? Great passions? Deepest creative desires? If they haven’t pursued any of their passions, when are they planning to start?
Recreation can be a huge passion point for people and it can really get the conversation rolling.
You never know, by having this discussion they might actually start planning their own dream fulfilment. Also, you might find that you have some dreams in common.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 22
#WhatILearntThisWeek
In the 1990’s Oprah started talking about poo. The subject was breached by Dr Oz when he started out on her show and at the time it was quite revolutionary. They talked about size, texture, colour, regularity and most surprisingly shape. They went on and on about C and S shaped poo. This was the holy grail of a healthy gut, body and lifestyle.
After watching Oprah’s revelatory poo discussion, I began checking my bowl for letters of the alphabet and was super disappointed that I could not see letters of any kind. Over the last 20 years I periodically checked my toilet bowl with anticipation and optimism, hoping I might have finally cracked the poo code.
[su_quote]”It should be an S shape and you want to make sure the colour’s normal because the colour of the poop tells you a lot about how you made it” – Dr Oz [/su_quote]
Flash forward to a recent overseas holiday to Hawaii – I had never been to the United States before. Despite having been warned about the high level of water in American toilet bowls, I was still surprised by just HOW MUCH WATER there actually was. It was so high that I was scared of accidentally rinsing my hands in toilet water (thankfully I never did).
It wasn’t until my first number 2 in an American toilet that I finally (after 20 years) understood what Oprah was going on about. I had no chance of fulfilling my dreams of finding a C or even better and S shaped poo in my toilet bowl at home. There simply wasn’t enough water to allow a full display of my good works.
Not only did I have a great holiday in Hawaii, I got to fulfil my biggest poo goal – on a daily basis 🙂
It was comforting to know that I had always been as healthy as I could be (in terms of poo shape), but the limitations of non-American toilet bowl design never allowed me to fully realise how awesome I had always been. So, all along Oprah was right… I should never have doubted her wisdom… it was non-American toilet design that had let me down.
VIVA POO and as Chris Hardwick’s father used to say, “Any day you can take a shit is a good day”. Here’s hoping your day, and your poo, are good today 😛
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 21
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Superman is super strong but he is made weak by kryptonite. I am usually really strong unless chocolate is nearby. I think it’s safe to say that chocolate is my weakness.
It is not something I can moderate easily – if at all. I can hear chocolate calling me from hiding places in cupboards and draws around the house and I will eat it all until there is none left. Then once it’s all gone I can hear the call from isle 2 of the local supermarket which is only a 2-minute drive away… road trip anyone?
I think I’ve come to the conclusion that is something I’m might to defeat in this lifetime.
Maybe like other addictions – that are much more serious – I can’t ever be left alone with my addiction.
I’m not sure why it is such an issue for me. Is it the sugar? Is it the texture? Is it an association with nice feelings from my childhood? Maybe if I could figure it out then I might have a chance of getting on top of this one. Until then I am a slave to coco deliciousness.
While I know that I am fully addicted to chocolate, I don’t know how to get on top of it and am open to suggestions, tips and tricks… does anyone ever get to a better place with chocolate? I would love to hear your success stories…
I aspire to be the kind of person who can delay chocolate gratification and enjoy a block of chocolate over days and weeks… I’m sure it is possible (fingers crossed).
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 20
#WhatILearntThisWeek
Now that it’s winter – and a bloody cold one at that – it’s easy to talk ourselves into hibernating from the world, give up on our health & fitness plans and abandon projects. We retreat into our cocoons and watch Netflix (occasionally if we have enough energy, we might also chill).
While it feels natural to give into our lizard brain telling us to conserve energy and curl up into a ball on the couch, it is not the best use of our time. While a bit more rest and comfy cozy blankie time is delicious in these colder months, it’s important to keep moving and doing. You know how bad you feel after binge watching and entire series in a day… not saying I don’t do this… why can’t we watch 4 episodes and then get up and do shit?
Doing nothing makes you feel bad. It makes you feel useless and stupid. It makes you feel as if you’re wasting your life. In the long run, it makes you feel unhappy.
We are filled with potential. There are so many great things we could do – even in small increments – to make our lives and the lives of those around us better. It’s different for everyone but ask yourself, what is it for you? Is it writing a story, sharing a painting, studying online, baking a batch of cookies for a sick neighbour, doing some exercise, not eating the rest of the cake, writing to an old friend of heaven forbid, picking up the phone and actually talking to someone.
I know it’s cold, it’s fucking freezing, but put a limit on your supreme laziness and get the fuck up and do shit. Trust me, you will feel a lot better and happier 🙂
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 19
#WhatILearntThisWeek
We are all so busy and so organised that getting lost can feel like the end of the world. Sure, if you’re super late for an important meeting then getting lost can be stressful. Also, getting lost in a dodgy area can be very dangerous.
So important meetings and danger aside… it can be awesome to get lost.
Recently on a super fantastic holiday in Hawaii we got lost a few times. Hire cars don’t have Gregorys in them anymore and if your map app takes time to load then it’s very easy to get lost. One day we took a road we thought would go up the east coast and it was a slow road… speed limit of 26 mph and at the end of this very long road we did not come out at the east coast, we were at a dead end. This was very disappointing but we decided to go with the flow. We had unwittingly arrived at a luxury hotel and decided to pop in for morning tea.
We entered this unknown hotel with no expectations and we asked where we could have some morning tea and made our way down to the kiosk by the beach. On our way down we walked across a quaint bridge over a lagoon and were stunned to see dolphins swimming in the water. Our no expectations had turned into immense joy. We spent more than an hour admiring the playful dolphins, talking to their handlers and we ended up having a fabulous lunch on a tiny private beach. It was the most happy and wondrous of accidents and proved to me that it’s ok to get lost.
We’re all in such a rush to get everything done, appear perfect to everyone else and not waste any of our time/life. However, while rushing around everywhere we are missing out on many opportunities that may be awaiting us around the corner, down the road or at the end of a log slow road.
Get lost… you might like it.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 18
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I think that most of us are born with a lean towards being a positive or a negative person. This doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to be one way… we are humans and we are capable of growth and change. I do think though that it’s important to be aware of your slant and adjust according… if it bothers you.
There are great advantages to being a supremely positive person… perhaps the most important being that it makes life more enjoyable (regardless of your circumstances). Think about it, would prefer to spend time with, hire or help… a cranky long faced moody git or a pleasant person who is a joy to be around.
Some people are so cranky all the time and their attitude makes any situation worse – for themselves and for everyone around them. Why be that person!
No one signed a contract at your birth saying that life was going to be easy… there are plenty of hard times behind and ahead of us all. It’s up to us how we get through tough times and the tone of our mood and our point of view will determine how we ultimately experience these setbacks.
Even if the only thing being a positive person gets you is an adjustment of perspective, then it’s worth it. Make a conscience effort to see the bright side the next time you’re in the shit… it might just take the edge off.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 17
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I recently relearnt this old but wise lesson… and anyone who is friends with me on social media knows how much I enjoyed my last holiday.
While I was holidays, I saw a cartoon that highlighted the depression one feels upon returning home after an amazing holiday. This was not the case for me. After having an amazing holiday I am energised, refreshed, delighted to have experienced all that I did and ready to work my arse off so that I can do it all again.
I don’t holiday very often and I hadn’t gone on a big overseas trip in a few years (I’m not counting New Zealand as that feels like I’m going interstate) and it was long overdue. I had the great pleasure of going with two of the most fun and amazing women I know… my wonderful mum and my most excellent sister 🙂
We had the BEST time. Hawaii was wonderful beyond words and we crammed a lot in… making every day an epic adventure.
It’s so wonderful to learn about different cultures, traditions, geography, wildlife and food. In addition, the constant warm temperature was so good for my body… I could walk further, drive longer and was in a lot less pain than usual (maybe my happiness helped mask some of the pain as well). It was delightful.
Now that the holiday is well and truly over I am not sad or depressed. Instead I am extremely grateful for the effort put into planning the holiday, getting to experience living in paradise (even if it was only temporary) and the great times we had together. It has filled up my library of memories with so many beautiful images and fantastic experiences that my heart is full enough to get me through this wretched winter 😛
BOOK YOSELF A HOLIDAY NOW!
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 16
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Oh boy this is a big one… and some of you will immediately know exactly what I mean by this.
I have been living with a lot of chronic pain for several years now… I’m good at it. In fact, I think I should get some kind of award, but sadly this mad skill is not recognised.
The source of anyone’s pain is irrelevant when it comes to having to live with it. There are many types of pain – nerve, muscle, back, a sprained ankle, emotional pain and they all come in acute or chronic formats – all are hard to live with.
Something happens to you when you have to deal with a large amount of pain… like ALL THE BLOODY TIME. It wears you down, it makes you tired, it makes you cranky, it sucks the life out of you, it makes you not want to go out and play and it can eventually become completely oppressive.
It is not until you are taught tried and tested coping skills so that you can better deal with your pain that you can emerge triumphant from under the oppressive nature of pain. I am lucky that I did an immersive course at the Royal North Shore pain clinic which was very helpful but at the end of the day, you still have to deal with a bunch of never ending pain.
Even with guidance and daily practice of pain management techniques, pain can still pile up and become oppressive again. It’s a daily struggle and often you can’t win the battle no matter how hard you try.
The struggle is real.
Over 11% of people have chronic pain of some kind so if you know someone who is suffering try to do something nice for them… chances are they’re exhausted and a bit fed up.
Now that winter is here and the cold has swept in I am a prisoner of my pain. Cold weather is my kryptonite and right now I am doing my best to dodge the cold. You may not see me out and about much in winter but I will be doing my best to fight this great oppressor by continuing to work, create and be the best me I can be (from within my prison).
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 15
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As adults, we hold on to memories and archive many trinkets and keepsakes to make sure we don’t forget anything. We cling to the past as if it’s trying to leave us.
Children have not lived long enough to understand the passage of time and history; therefore, they have no need to cling to the past.
This lesson in living for right now is a great one.
As an artist, I keep all my drawings and sketches even if I don’t like them… what is that about?!? I worry about the archival nature of my art supplies so that any work I make that I do like has a chance of surviving. Why do we hold on to things so tightly?
A child does not cling on to things in the same way. A kid will make a painting and then happily rip it up. They don’t want you to throw it out but they don’t really think about saving, preserving and archiving it.
The same sense of impermanence is true of street artists who paint their masterpieces on public walls knowing that it will be tagged or painted over at any time. What drives people to work so hard for something that is not permanent? But then what is really permanent… is anything really permanent?
Maybe we’re focusing too much on holding onto the past and we should be focussing more on living right now.
Learn a lesson from the kids in our lives and try to let go of things in the past… don’t worry too much about saving every moment and choose to live in the impermanent now!
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 14
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This is an odd one for me to write as I am often found in the shade wearing a shirt.
I am kind of allergic to the sun. At least that’s the easy way to explain it. I have nerve damage that makes the sensation of the sun on my skin feel painful instead of enjoyable. At least that’s the case in Australia for most of the year except for early mornings or in the middle of winter.
I recently went on holidays to Hawaii and the sun did not hurt me as much there. Of course, in the middle of the day I wore my shirt to reduce sore skin but there were much larger chunks of the day that my bare skin could be touched by the sun’s rays and it was delightful.
Maybe it’s because I can’t usually get a lot of sun that this brief reprisal was such a delight. I do think however that most people are hiding from the sun… in their offices and locked away in their homes behind high fences and closed windows.
Although we do have to limit our sun exposure for health’s sake there are benefits from limited sun exposure. At the top of the list is that basking in a reasonable amount of sun is that it feels so bloody good. There is something our lizard brain revels in when we do it. If you feel like crap it makes you feel better… but like all good things it’s advisable to practice restraint. Small doses.
Now that I am home and the harsh Aussie sun once again hurts my skin for most of the day I am going to make a point of finding a few minutes a day to toast my fragile skin in the early morning or afternoon sun… I’m sure if it feels that good, it must be good for you 🙂
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 13
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One of humanities greatest strengths, and at the same time greatest weakness, is the belief deep down that we are never really going to die. This allows us to let go and enjoy life without freaking out every 5 minutes that it’s all coming to an end… but on the flip side, it also allows us to be lazy, complacent and able to watch life slip through our fingers without a sense of urgency.
We often think it would be a wonderful thing to be immortal, however if we did live forever we would have no need to get things done, achieve anything great, push out limits or even get out of bed in the morning.
The same way a deadline at school or college allows us to achieve great work, so does a deadline on our lives. Some of us are better at managing that than others.
I think I need a bit more urgency and drive to be able to do the things I want to do in this life… while others need a little bit more down time to appreciate what they’ve already got.
It is not an easy balance to strike however, if you know that you can adjust your levels of urgency and relaxation then maybe you can find a better level.
We don’t live forever so love, play and work hard… your expiry date might be sooner than you think so take this chance to find out what you’re made of instead of rotting away on the couch (FYI I see the irony of me writing this on my couch).
Check out my main man Neil deGrasse Tyson speak about the urgency of accomplishment that knowing we will one day die can bring… it’s not a doom and gloom thing, is a positive 🙂
[su_youtube url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3G9LOJZTmM” width=”1000″]
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 12
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This is so simple but it is so true.
Some people are selfish with their joy… it’s almost as if they are scared that by sharing their joy it will somehow be diminished.
Joy is one of the only things in this life that is not diminished when shared… it is intact enhanced and grows every time it’s shared.
You never know if someone is having a bad day – despite how they present themselves – so drop some joy and let it spread… it might be just what someone needs to get through that day… and it might just come back to you multiplied.
Spread the JOY!
Not-so-happy Earth Da7 2017
#earthday
I feel like the earth is sad and no matter how much we recycle or eat local it’s not enough. It’s great to start at the grass roots but our pollies are seemingly clueless to the dangers in our future if we ignore the impact we are havimg on the earth.
With the liberals approving a massive coal mine in Queensland and ignoring the now terminally ill Great Barrier Reef it’s difficult to stay hopeful 🙁
Our earth is sad and I don’t know that anything we will do will be done soon enough to stop certain catastrophe.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 11
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Politicians in Australia are trying to cut costs and it looks like the next target they are trying to hit is education.
Education is one of the most important investments a family, community or a country can make. EDUCATION IS EVERYTHING. Without adequate funding for educators and students our future is very much in jeopardy.
If you look at Freakonomics – a method of applying economic theory to a variety of subjects and seeing how spending or saving in one generation can have knock on effects for years or decades to come – I hate to think what our current lack of spending on education will do to our future.
Dramatically cutting funding for public education will surely have a negative effect on our economy, politics and society in 20-30 year’s time.
Think about it… if you adequately educate your young people they will grow up to be well informed, curious and capable of questioning leadership. If you don’t properly fund education we will end up with a poorly educated population that will be less capable of standing up for their rights and beliefs… oh hold on… maybe that’s what the politicians want. Hmmmmm!
It’s all good and well to say that the best of the best will rise to the top and get access to scholarships but how can people get to that point. It takes a very good school, a passionate teacher, diligent parents and a well-funded and resourced education system or a combination of these. Removing adequate funding from the education system means that there is less chance of people reaching their potential. If you don’t have the opportunity to study then you won’t know if you’re any good at it.
Education should be for ALL not just the elite… let’s face it the rich or ‘elite’ get enough bonuses… those bonuses should not come at the cost of education for all.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 10
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When we are suffering from pain of any kind (physical, emotional or spiritual) we can feel very isolated and alone. At the end of the day can anyone truly understand your unique brand of suffering? No, chances are they cannot. Our suffering is as unique as we are and even if we are exposed to exactly the same stress, we will all respond differently.
This can make it difficult to feel like anyone can relate or help.
In truth, someone does not need to know my exact suffering to be able to support or care for me. It’s important to remember this the next time you’re riding out a rough patch. My friends and family try to understand the physical pain I put up with on a daily basis – I do my best to hide it – but no matter how hard they try, they cannot.
This does not mean that they can’t support me, listen to me and do their best to help me out when needed. It can be very difficult to accept help but we all need support at different times in our lives so it’s best not to fight it.
So, the next time you feel like no one can reach you, help you our support you remember that your loved ones don’t need to have gone through exactly what you are going through to be able to help. Accept that while they cannot understand exactly what you’re going through, that does not exclude them from being there for you. Let them make you a cup of tea… let them give you a hug… let them in and you never know, it might make things just a little bit easier.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 9
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If you treat someone with disrespect, you are teaching them that they are not worth respect. If you teach someone that violence in a powerful currency then you can’t be surprised if they decide to use it. Violence is a cheap and easy power hit and quite often people don’t know any other way as it is all they have been taught.
I won’t harp on about video games + the normalisation of porn + the glorification of violence in film & TV (think Game of Thrones to name one) … that discussion has being going on for decades and I do think they have a HUGE part to play in the increase in violence in our society.
The NSW Police commissioner retired this week and as he left he commented that there has a rise in domestic violence and an increase in the number of women being killed by their partners. What the fuck is going on and how is this getting worse… surely it should be getting better.
Last year, ABC’s 4 Corners did a stunning expose on the abuse children were subjected to while incarcerated. The violence and abuse that the children were exposed to was breath-taking. Family members would say that their kids were never the same after being detained… they had been treated so poorly that they did not feel worthy of being back in society!
There is something really wrong with our justice system, people are often in more danger in jail than out in the community. There is a power imbalance and I don’t know how it can be fixed. Norway seems to have a good way of dealing with criminals. People who are incarcerated are treated with respect + have nice accommodation + a strict routine + the doors to their rooms are not locked + they are free to roam around the compound often taking up educational activities. The recidivism rate in Norway is less than 20% compared to Americas rate of more than 76%. It seems that there is some wisdom in treating people that they are worthy of respect. If you teach someone they’ve got nothing to lose then they’ve got nothing to live for and will not strive for a better future for themselves.
Be mindful of what we are teaching people around us… every action we take is influencing someone around us. It’s up to you to make sure it’s a positive influence.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 8
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Sometimes you need to talk to someone about the issues swirling around your head and all you really want to do is talk… not listen to a bunch of solutions.
Have you ever sat down to talk to a friend or family member about something that is really bugging you and they come back with a simple and flippant solution before you’ve even got it all off your chest? Yup me too.
It’s right up there with mansplaining and almost all men will happily give you a practical solution without knowing the full set of circumstances you have to deal with. Perhaps this is one of the reasons we need to speak to our girlfriends to stay sane.
There are times for discussion and there are times for release. Granted it is hard to tell them apart. I too am guilty of offering simple solutions to complex problems I don’t fully understand, but I’m trying to get better at just listening.
I once read of an ancient cultural practice of finding a rock, telling that rock all of your problems and then throwing the rock away. I really like this idea as shows a good understanding of our need as humans to unburden ourselves. Often it’s the act of talking about our troubles that gives us the most relief. In saying the words out loud we can often see our own way out.
Some people do take advantage of this and complain all the time… I am not referring to those people. They suck and should be avoided at all cost!
So the next time someone close to you is pouring their heart out, take a breath and look at the situation. Ask yourself if they need to get something off their chest or really wanting your opinion. I’m sure with practice we can all get better at identifying when our sage advice needed.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 7
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Every day we pretend to be stronger than we think we are. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind, but most people slap a smile on their face and get on with their day. This is one aspect of strength being a performance.
Think of all the times you pretend to be strong… you fall over in the street and get up, pretend to be fine even though you’re dying on the inside and your butt really really hurts… when someone you love betrays you and you act as if your heart is not breaking but it’s really really breaking… you’re in heaps of pain and you must carry on as if everything is right in the world even though you really really want to curl up under a doona and cry.
I often wonder who we are performing for. On the one had we act strong so that others will think that everything is alright, for example if there is an accident some of us will try to keep it together so that everyone else will feel that everything will be ok. But there is another side to strength as a performance… it’s the performance we do for ourselves. I live with a lot of pain and often pretend that everything is fine, even if it isn’t. It’s about pretending that you can do something until you can… fake it till you make it.
However, we can go too far though and many people pretend everything is alright when they are falling apart on the inside… therefore it’s important to take notice of our family and friends asking them every now and then if they are ok.
The hard part is finding the sweet spot where we are pretending just enough to get us through but not so much that we’re covering up our decent into madness.
Strength is a performance and some of us are better actors than others.
Emma Watson’s Tits
@EmmaWatson #EmmaWatson #tits
“Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women with. It’s about freedom, it’s about liberation, it’s about equality. I really don’t know what my tits have to do with it. I’ts very confusing.” – Emma Watson
The glorious Gloria Steinem
#GloriaStinem @GloriaSteinem
All praise Gloria Steinem
“Feminists can wear anything they fucking want.” – the glorious Gloria Steinem
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 6
#WhatILearntThisWeek
Now let’s get one thing straight… I’m not a think happy thoughts and unicorns and rainbows will suddenly fill your day’s kind of person. That’s a bunch of crap.
While what we think is not going to karmically change the world… it does influence our health and wellbeing. However, being around negative people and things has a negative effect on us.
Much like a rotten apple will spread rot to adjacent apples… supremely negative people in your life will spread their negativity to you.
It can be difficult to eliminate negative people in your life as some might be in your family. Try your best to do all you can to reduce their influence on you. Avoid negative colleges, don’t call back old friends who only bring doom and gloom to the table and do your best to minimise your exposure to relatives who have nothing nice to say.
It has been proven that negativity is bad for your health… now that we know that, it’s time to make moves to reduce our own negativity and our exposure to that of others.
Be positive and repel the influence of the negative Nelly’s who want to bring you down to their shitty dark level. There is a lot of good stuff out there in the world… choose to focus on that 🙂
My entry to the 2016 Digital Portrait Award
#digitalportraitaward
This was my entry into the Digital Portrait Award for 2016. I was not chosen as a finalist but I am really happy with the work. It is a spy portrait as in it is how I would be seen if I was being spied on by my computer camera… which I normally keep covered thanks to Mark Zuckerberg raising awareness of his insecurity in computer security.
I am planning on doing more portraits this year – both of myself and other people. If you know of someone amazing who should be painted or if you want to commission a portrait, please get in touch.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 5
#WhatILearntThisWeek
There is so much talk about our core and how having a strong core is good for us… but is it really? Yes, it bloody well is.
I recently read a fascinating article about Why One Neuroscientist Started Blasting His Core and I’m totally convinced… it’s all about the core.
There is a lot of anecdotal evidence that a strong core is beneficial for our physical and mental health, but now there is the proof… scientists have shown a direct neural connection between the nerves in our gut and the part of our brain that deals with stress.
If I asked you to impersonate someone who was depressed, you would likely slump over… there is a reason for that. Someone who is depressed feels so terrible about everything that they can’t even sit up straight to greet the world. This may be more than a side effect. Maybe having weak core muscles plays a part in depression or generally feeling bad.
“There’s all this evidence that core strengthening has an impact on stress. And when you see somebody that’s depressed or stressed out, you notice changes in their posture. When you stand up straight, it has an effect on how you project yourself and how you feel. Well, lo and behold, core muscles have an impact on stress. And I suspect that if you activate core muscles inappropriately with poor posture, that’s going to have an impact on stress.” – Peter Strick a distinguished professor and chair of the department of neurobiology at the University of Pittsburgh Brain Institute.
A strong core also has other benefits like a stronger back, good posture, improved balance, less injuries, organs are happier with good posture rather than being all squished together and you look a hell of a lot thinner when you stand tall.
So get moving no matter how horrible you feel. Do it just because you have to and maybe eventually you’ll end up enjoying it. Get yourself a strong core and stand up tall to meet the world.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 4
#WhatILearntThisWeek
There is a Chilean saying “que rico es quejar” which translates to it’s lovely to complain.
I grew up hearing this saying (being the massive wog that I am) but as it turns out… it is not true. Complaining is BAD (said in the voice of Mr Mackey from South Park who always says ‘Drugs are bad’).
In 2004 I attended a pain clinic to learn how to live with chronic pain. One of the first things they taught us was that pain responds to attention and the more attention you give it the more pain you will have. It is a downward spiral. This is the reason you will rarely hear me complain about how much bloody pain I am in… it just doesn’t do you any good.
I recently read an article in The Huffington Post titled How Complaining Rewrites Your Brain for Negativity and it was fascinating to learn how bad complaining is for your overall health.
Just like smoking, eating sugar and doing other bad stuff… it feels good to complain. Our brains are very efficient and the more we do an action the more likely we are to keep doing it – as neuroscientists like to say “neurons that fire together, wire together.” It’s what makes our brains so efficient. This efficiency applies to both good and bad behaviour and habits.
So if you complain a lot, then you will continue to complain a lot and it will only get worse. Complaining can also shrink your hippocampus (the part of your brain responsible for problem solving and intelligent thought). Think about that for a minute.
Complaining can also lead to increased blood pressure and blood sugar thanks to the release of the stress hormone cortisol. Excessive exposure to cortisol can also impact your immune system, increases the risk of high cholesterol, diabetes, heart attack and weight gain leading to obesity.
So instead of feeling like a failure because you didn’t lose the weight you wanted to, take stock of your complaining habits and start to make some changes. It might be just as important as doing exercise or eating well.
In short, complaining is bad for your health, shrinks your brain, makes you fat and most likely makes you difficult to be around… time to reconsider mindless complaining.
You can read the article here.
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Life cycle of an alternative come smash hit in Australia
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 3
#WhatILearntThisWeek #WomensMarch #IStandWithHer
I remember being in primary school and having to look forward to the year 2000… it seemed like it was so far into the future (and it was). I remember trying to imagine what my life would be like and what the world would be like… I never imagined that 17 years after that distant landmark in time we would still have to protest for women’s rights.
What the fuck has gone wrong that we are still having to fight for basic rights and equality. It’s difficult to create change, I get that, but I think we’ve waited long enough.
I’ve learnt a bit about the male perspective by talking to the men in my life. Some men are dismissive of the comments and treatment women still have to put up with on a daily basis… while others who are the “good guys” who see women as equal can get frustrated with the talk of feminism because they feel like they are being blamed for bad behavior that they themselves don’t contribute to.
I’m not saying I have the answer but we have to change something… I recently said to a bunch of women that I was a born a feminist and a woman in her 20’s and another in their 60’s said “Oh but I like men”.
They might have well punched me in the pussy. Seriously? What the fuck has one thing got to do with another? Really? This shit again!
The dictionary definition of feminism is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes”. Women’s rights meaning that women want EQUAL rights to men… not more… and we’ve put up with less for far too long.
We have to change the script… feminists want equality… that’s all.
Every single person on this earth was grown inside a woman’s body… that means that every single person on this planet should be in awe of the amazing physical strength that the average woman possesses to make + grow + birth + bring up a life. This is somehow viewed as a weakness for women rather than one of the greatest displays of adaptability and strength in the natural world.
If you hate women then you hate yourself… because you came from a woman.
I am a feminist (a natural born feminist) and I love men… these beliefs are not mutually exclusive. It’s 2017 already and it’s about time we fixed this centuries old problem.
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 2
#WhatILearntThisWeek
We have all fallen for food fads… it seems to be unavoidable in the developed world. Gluten free, Paleo, Kale… the list goes on. The truth is that these fads only serve one purpose… they make a couple of people a lot of money… that is until the next fad comes along.
Let’s examine some recent fads…
- Kale: people lost their minds over kale… however, long term people did not see a lot of benefit and it was later revealed that you can have too much kale… some people experienced low level poisoning and mental issues.
- Coconut oil: I went hard on coconut oil when the fad was at its peak. What I didn’t realise at the time was that it was extremely high in salicylates… something that I have a severe intolerance too. There are benefits to eating good fats but too much coconut oil can lead to an increase in blood cholesterol.
- Gluten free: I was gluten free for 5 years (prior to finally figuring out what it was I was allergic to) but the benefits of this diet fad is not what you would think, unless you are a true coeliac. For me it was moving away from heavily processed foods that benefited me the most.
- Turmeric: last year people lost their minds about the health benefits of turmeric. It is meant to cure all kinds of things… it has just been revealed that it is very difficult for our bodies to absorb the beneficial molecules and that the effects are not as great as first reported.
- Paelo: there is so much wrong with this fad including the fact that Palaeolithic ‘man’ cultivated and ate potatoes and judging by Palaeolithic art… they had their own weight problems. The long term effects of this diet on cholesterol and heart health is untested and the benefits are usually derived from eating less processed food and cutting out sugary drinks (which anyone can do).
An example of Palaeolithic people represented in their art… it seems that weight was an issue back then LOL
There seems to be a bit of a theme in all of this… STOP FOLLOWING FOOD FADS. You don’t need to change your lifestyle and diet every time a celebrity chef or beauty blogger writes about the benefits of the NEXT BIG THING.
Eat sensibly, eat what you need… nothing more and incorporate aspects of the only scientifically proven diet known to man… the Mediterranean diet. Lets spend our precious energy on things that will really improve our lives like following our dreams or finding new ways to connect with family and friends. FUCK FOOD FADS!
what i learnt this week 2017 :: WEEK 1
#WhatILearntThisWeek
The New Year brings with it so much hope… hope of better things to come, hope of change. Who is bringing that change into your life? What are you doing to make your life better?
We all seem to forget that our time on this planet is finite and we plod along in jobs we hate, making money for things we don’t really need, to impress people we don’t even like. Nothing in your life will change in the way you want it to unless YOU CHANGE SOMETHING. Think about it.
Many of us have heard the saying that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Then it’s up to you to get different results… by doing something different… taking a calculated risk… mixing things up… being your own hero.
So many of us wait for a prince to come and save the day… wouldn’t it be lovely if a strong, stoic and good looking man (or woman depending on what you’re into) swept you off your feet and fixed all of your problems… including the leaking tap. Well that’s not going to happen. Chances are the guy that sweeps in and saves the day has an agenda and might well be a control freak who will take over your life.
Don’t waste your time waiting for someone to save you. Don’t waste anther day wishing your life was different. MAKE IT DIFFERENT. CHANGE SOMETHING… ANYTHING… TODAY!
So go to the hardware store and buy a new washer and learn how to fix your own leaky tap… make a change for the better so that you can make sure 2017 is the year you don’t make empty promises to yourself… make it the year you started making things happen, FOR YOURSELF.
Well said Meryl Streep
#GoldenGlobes #GoldenGlobes2017 #MerylStreep
I love EVERYTHING that Meryl Streep said in her Golden Globe acceptance speech for her performance in Florence Foster Jenkins, directed by Stephen Frears and written by Nicholas Martin.
what i learnt this YEAR:: 2016
#WhatILearntThisYear #WhatILearntThisWeek
As Soul II Soul said in the late 80’s… Keep on moving!
There is a lot of wisdom in this lyric… motion and movement leads to getting shit done. I have a lot of issues with energy and pain… it’s a daily thing and I don’t get a break. There are really bad days that are difficult and I can’t get much done… but thankfully those days are no longer as frequent as they used to be. I made a deal with myself, regardless of the kind of day I’m having, I have to get shit done. Irrespective of the type of day I’m having I have to start work (of any kind) by midday.
I might have to work from my bed, I might only get a little bit done, I might work through till 9pm and get an extraordinary amount of work done… but I have to start by midday. This deal with myself lead to 2016 being one of the most prolific and productive years I’ve had in more than a decade. I didn’t realise how big the impact of this action would be, but it has been an overwhelmingly positive one.
This can apply to people with good health and normal energy levels as well… at the end of the day after a long day’s work you don’t have to sit on the couch watching TV every night. You too can keep moving so that you can get more shit done. We all need to get more out of life other than our 9-5 jobs.
There is another application of the ‘keep moving’ principal. Our bodies are not made for a sedentary life. Our bodies – healthy or injured -respond well to movement. Arthritis responds well to movement with joints getting stuff and sore if still for too long. Bad backs are much better when our bodies are moved throughout the day. Fatigue is lessened when we don’t give into it and rest more. It seems that everything is just better when we stay active and KEEP MOVING.
Nothing gets done unless you do it yourself… so what are you waiting for… keep moving and start getting shit done.
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